Be careful, your attitude is showing....even when you don't know it!

Alright, it has been a year since the last blog and you know what?  After this week's realization, There will be many more blogs, even if just to remind myself what I stand for in life and in the lives of my friends. 
Which brings me to the subject of this blog entry; attitude.  This word encumbers so much, not just your feelings on things, but the way other people perceive you and the way you treat others.  I once posted on my facebook:

"As an dog training instructor (agility and breed handling currently), whenever my students ask about other classes with other instructors I ALWAYS encourage them. I NEVER bash another instructor. Even if I do not like the person personally, I can always find something good to say about their instruction. And on the other hand, if I get a new student that has some issue (contacts, weaves, etc......) I NEVER tell them they had horrible instruction and now we have to fix it. Since when did it become okay to bad mouth others? I am really tired (and a bit hurt) to hear these stories. Instructors, please watch what you say about each other. It gets back to us and it makes us ALL look bad. (ok, stepping off my soap box.)"

It seems this post hit home with some people as I got comments like:

"That is a great reminder"

"I totally agree with this!"

"Well said.  I couldn't agree more."

 

You see, just a simple comment of, "Where did you learn THAT?" or "Who taught you how to weave?  Oh, that explains it,"  not only indirectly bashes the instructor, it makes the student feel that they have not only chose the wrong instructor but now may have ruined their entire agility career with that dog unless they work with this new instructor.  Even if they have had wonderful instruction or "breakthroughs" with their previous instructor, they may be hesitant to return to them in fear they will "piss off" the new instructor.  And then there is the "clicks".  A certain group of people go to a certain instructor and a relatively "new" students wants to fit in, therefore, now stays with this instructor in order to be in the "click" and fears going to a previous instructor because they do not want to lose "status" in the group.  And this isn't just agility, it is in all dog sports or any sport.

Let me approach this a different way.  I am going to use agility as this is where most of my experience lies.  There are the "big wigs" in the sport.  National Champions or World Team Members, local heroes that always seem to win the class, recent up and comers that seem to be taking the sport by storm or seasoned veterans that seem to always have a great dog and a new one coming up that seems to be equally or even better then their current dog.  We look up to them, we try in get into their seminars or classes.  We go to 3 day camps with their instruction.  Then we go to a show where they are and they couldn't be even bothered to say hello.  Or they are in an unapproachable bubble and their "devoted followers" are hanging on every word.  Maybe you are able to say, "great run!" and they give you a half hearted smile and say something like, "Well, of course." and walk away.  (btw, I speak from example.  these have all happened to me, and if they haven't to you, GREAT!)

 

Why, why, WHY?  I cannot understand that even as adults we feel this need to make people feel small and insignificant.  In high school kids can be cruel.  But adults?  It seems we have not outgrown this righteous attitude and it will show whenever given the chance.  It even happens at a local level.  How many times have you been sitting at a local trial and hear two people next to you commenting on every negative thing about a team as they run?  How many times was it YOU doing the commenting?  (yep, I am guilty, I admit it.)  Or there is the person who ONLY talks about HER dogs (his or her) and HER runs and how amazing HER dogs are and everyone else's dogs SUCK and that HER breeder is the ONLY one to go to and every other breeder and line has problems and oh yeah, her 18mo old dog IS going to be a world team member.  um, ok.....

People, due to it being Christmas Season and all, can we PLEASE make a pact to stop this malicious behavior?  Can we be kind?  Make an effort to stop making people feel small and try to build up everyone? 

 

Because of this behavior, I have may have lost something I truly love doing, teaching.  Am I the BEST?  NOPE.  Do I try to bring the best out of every team I instruct?  YEP.  Will you LOVE my instruction and never go to ANYONE ELSE?  maybe not.  I might not fit for you.  Does that mean I need to make you feel bad for leaving?  no.  And should your new instructor make you feel bad for your past?  NO NO NO. 

And then there are trials...can we try to clap for everyone?  Can we find one great thing in a run and tell a fellow compeitior how great it was?  "Awesome front cross between 4 &5!" 

And remember, this goes for all things....I teach agility and show handling, and it happens in the breed ring MORE THEN TOU KNOW.  So sad....

But, to show you the humanity in the world, there are some people who are gracious and kind.  Who are always smiling and there to offer a kind word or a gracious thank you.  There are local heroes and world team members and yes, even national champions who will tell you how awesome your weave pole entry was at some local trial.  I love that.  Yep, I love to be told how great my weave entry was.  Sorry, I am human.....